(Ah, crap. I spelled “technique” wrong. *facehand*)

Welcome to a (hopefully) new series of articles! Josh has expressed interest in contributing; so there is more to come!

As you may or may not know, I find myself addicted to the spy in Team Fortress 2.

Sadly, few people find themselves playing him; or to be specific, playing him well. Sneaking generally doesn’t come across as a favorable tactic in the online world, especially considering that in every single other online game, a sneak attack means a well placed snipe shot to the head. This is a rather fresh idea; disguising and cloaking in multiplayer (expect maybe in Splinter Cell).

This is one of the game’s toughest classes to master; you are weak, armorless and your only good weapon is a 6 round revolver. Doesn’t sound super appealing, huh? Your only great advantage is a butterfly knife that, when used from on an enemy’s top, side or back, will result in an instant kill. It’s a satisfying class to play, if you play it right. The *kachink!* you get whenever you get a good backstab and the easily stackable, screen filling kills make this class a rarely killed death machine; but again, if only played skillfully.

If you know nothing about how to play this guy, then view the video below first. EvilDaedalus luckily shares my sentiments and will give you some basic education on the class. Thank you, I say.

But now, what you’re here for; how to kick ass and take names; in the most masterful way I could do it. You may disagree with my points here, and by all means feel free to comment as such, but they work. Just ask any of the several people I have back stabbed in the last month.

1. Don’t think disguising as someone on your own team is stupid.

You may wonder, “Why would I ever need to hit that ‘-’ key to disguise as my own class?!”. This is a very, very useful technique being ignored, mostly because of arrogance and ignorance. If not such negative traits, maybe you simply don’t know it exists or has a use. If you find yourself as the only spy on your team, you can make the enemy team believe, simply, that your team doesn’t have any spies at all! This is a great way to get the team thinking, because if you wait long enough, the team will be devoid of any kind of spy defense. Then you can cheerfully go in, backstabbing Snipers and Heavies galore.

This technique has one drawback however; you still draw enemy fire and must stay to the shadows until you find a suitable time to disguise and attack.

2. Constantly re-disguise and cloak.

Having played on several servers, the most common thing I hear is “Spy disguised as (class)!”. This statement is usually repeated with the same class, over and over. This is because many Spies subconsciously affirm an allegiance with a particular disguise. I would advise you take a circular approach to disguising (while of course avoiding the “bad” disguises); first disguise as a soldier. After a kill, disguise as a demo man. Continue this cycle. If you do this, no one will be able to predict who a spy will be disguised as. But, a cautionary word; randomize this circle each time you pass through it! If your enemies are crafty enough, they’ll know to shoot a sniper when they have been recently killed by a demo man.

You can also change how you move; occasionally I’ll jump around like a bunny just so people are sure that it’s a different person running around, and not the same spy they just caught.

Of course, sometimes this is impossible; like when caught in a convenient chain, like 4 snipers on a battlement in 2fort. Just keep going methodically, unless faced with a particular vicious sentry gun.

Also, don’t be afraid to cloak. This one sounds so obvious, but many use it like it’s a one time thing. Patience is a virtue with this feature; if you have to sit in a blind spot or empty room to recharge, so be it, because this feature will get you out of so many sticky situations. If you stab a medic, but the heavy catches you, just cloak and run away. Don’t force a confrontation, unless you have no cloak!

Sadly, this technique can be useless in crowded territory; a cloak is easily visible unless you are in a blind spot.

3. Keep moving.

Try not to kill people in a predetermined area. If you form a predictable “circle of death”, such as killing mostly snipers, you will soon face an impenetrable defense in that area, with your targets becoming paranoid and building a defense. If you constantly move to different areas, and attack different classes, along with constant re-disguising you will be keeping the enemy on their toes, and you will be as hidden as a needle in a haystack.

The only situation I can think of where this wouldn’t work is in a bottlenecked area; where the defense is strong around area, but a small weakness exists that is safely exploitable. In this case, simply wait on a situation to attack a different area. Like I said; long waits can be the only way up the ranks.

4. Avoid dominations.

This goes along with what I just said; don’t try to form a circle of death by getting a guy several times in a row. He’ll become, more likely then not, a crazed spy hunter until he revenges. If you let this build up, you’ll have a whole team on your back that has you on their watch; making attacks impossible.

5. Don’t always be the spy.

One of the best defenses as a spy is to not play him the whole round. I’m guilty of this; let’s just say they know you’re there, and will set everyone on their team on fire to check. If they suspect you, play a high-profile class like the Heavy to get attention; not as the “really good Spy” but as the “really good Heavy”. Then you can sneak up on them when they least suspect it.

6. Adapt your play style accordingly.

On every map, there is a defense or offense play style. On some maps, these tactics are useful or useless. But you need to adapt to whichever one you are using, especially if locked into it, like in Gravel Pit.

On the defense, being the Spy becomes incredibly difficult. Since it is the enemy advancing and you pushing them back, you must be incredibly vigilant and act like a Pyro; stab everyone in the back until you rid the team of the cleverly cloaked spy.

Your job is made harder by the enemies backing up these spies; if you stab someone in front of a heavy, you have little chance to escape. In this case, you must simply remove the stronger enemy first, and then eliminating your quarry. Another way to handle this is the “Bait and Eliminate” approach; disguise as a team-mate, appear to clear the area ahead and then lure them into enemy fire.

7. Stay modest.

Don’t be arrogant. Don’t taunt every single person you kill, and don’t announce it either. You look like an idiot; are being a jerk, and you are leaving yourself open. Not to mention attracting attention.

8. Some classes are bad, I’m not joking.

Some people, no matter how much they are poked, will go as a medic, and get mercilessly shot when the nearest heavy realizes that you refuse to heal him.

The point of the spy is to assume a role; and to fill it. If you are a sniper; you should be in the battlements; not on the front lines! That’s why the Spy, Scout, Heavy, and Medic are such bad roles; as a spy you could be mistook as the enemy. As a scout, you move too slow; as a heavy, you move too fast. And, as a Medic, you can’t actually heal people who call, and you lack a Ubercharge indicator above your head. All of these problems are nigh impossible to hide.

9. Just because the sapper is there doesn’t mean you should abuse it.

You don’t have to sap every single teleport and turret you see. It attracts attention, because everyone can see you place it and the sapper itself. The engineer especially will alert everyone to your presence. It also leaves you without a weapon briefly; the sapper has only its one technology destroying use. Of course, you can switch to the revolver or knife relatively quickly, but if you have been trailed by a spy, the only possible thing left to happen is you getting backstabbed.

If it will help your team, by all means go ahead and destroy it, but don’t try to battle your way through a turtled area.

10. Have an escape plan.

By no means is the Spy a suicide bomber class; the point is to eliminate key opposition and survive long enough to push back the front. You will frequently find that you have missed your backstab, or that you were seen being cloaked. The only way to survive is to get away from the front-lines, or at least your pursuers, for as long as possible! The enemy base in particular is a dry well; you have no access to healing or ammo besides dispensers, and these leave you standing idle, ready for a lone flame to catch you. In order to survive, you must frequently trek back to a distant but reliable source of health and ammo; your own base.

It all depends on location; on some maps it is easier then others to get back to home. For example, on 2fort; if you are spotted on the battlements, you can simply jump into the water below and get back to the base via the sewers, assuming that a) the sewers are clear, or b) you have the ammo/health/cloak to get rid of enemies stopping your escape. It is all based on map; simply learn your own reliable and safe ways home is all the advice I can give.

11. Loneliness is a good thing!

Don’t have other people with you when you spy. This rule applies tenfold to other spies on your team. The problems that I try to solve in this guide are compounded, and doubled by another spy. This also applies to a situation where one spy saps a sentry, and you happen to run by; you get slaughtered, the spy who placed the sapper does not. Try to make sure that the only mistakes and techniques that will kill you are your own.

Medics, obviously, are a bad companionship; although they solve some of the problems presented in 10 by providing a semi-reliable health source, they are too obvious and blow your cover. Unless the medic has a place to hide to occasionally heal, which is incredibly unlikely, you will need to abandon him back at home base.

Engineers, who can build dispensers, are also a bad choice of a companion. The contraptions they make, if placed conveniently by your kill zone of choice, will most likely be destroyed quickly. They also attract enemy spies; soon you will be getting back stabbed yourself. Also, the teleporters Engineers create can also create an incredibly severe detriment to your disguise; when used they make you leave an appropriately colored trail, depending on team. If cloaked, this makes your position obvious and makes you soldier bait.

Everyone else is really just a big giant sign pointing to you saying “Kill this guy before he stabs you in the back!”. The big drawback to any kind of companionship is this; if you are disguised as the other team, why aren’t you shooting (and killing) your “enemy”? So just for now; be a bit anti-social if you wish to survive.

12. You have a revolver.

Sometimes, you will find yourself with an enemy who has outpaced you, and you tried a backstab. You’re uncloaked; they’re aware of you. You’ve got your knife and you’re still pretty close. What do you do but stab? Sadly, this is the quick decision others may make hastily. You need to remember that you have a pretty decent gun with you! If you can draw it, you can get up to 60 damage close range, and with about two quick shots, you can possibly have a kill, and have your life intact! The only drawback to this is that you will leave yourself undisguised and open to enemy fire; but if the situation is desperate you may be able to sneak off just in time.

Sinister has some tips of his own!

1. Don’t be a hero.

“As a spy, it may be easy to get to the enemy intelligence; but getting out, and getting back to your base, is difficult for several reasons. You can’t cloak or disguise; your weapons are not too effective against large crowds/powerful enemies, and you’re slow enough to be easily shot. When I’m a spy, my goals are to back stab at an opportune moment, and disable sentries. If you like getting the intelligence, scout is your best bet.”

2. Backwards walking can work.

“If you come running in though a door, out of nowhere, a smart player would realize that you were coming in to attack. Come in going backwards as if you were shooting at someone, then take cover. You can stay in disguise as long as you want, so take your time.”

3. You are not Neo.

“If there is a lot of bullets being traded at a time, completly avoid it, no matter what. If you are invisible or in disguise you are bound to get hit by a bullet which will reveal your location.”

4. More tips about blending in.

“Don’t make it look like you’re up to something; like running around for no reason. Something I do is call for a medic, so I have an excuse to not be at the battle front. If you are at the battlefront, busy backstabbing people, and not firing down at your own team you look suspicious. Your best bet is to disguise as a sniper; they tend not to go shoot wildly, so you could get away for not shooting for a short while.”

So there you go! Basically, my play style, and Sinister’s as well, in a nutshell. Patient, quiet and methodical. If you want to turn the Spy into a kamikaze, Crazy Go Nuts University, suicide bomber; go ahead. Just don’t expect a pretty Kill to Death ratio. Now put it to use, and help your team out. They’ll be needing it!

Thanks for reading this!

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Now playing: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under The Bridge
via FoxyTunes

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